Dear Any Human Person I Might Meet in the Future,
Here are ten important things you should know about me just in case we were to ever meet in the future, like at Wholefoods in a transaction-based scenario or at the scene of a car accident, or at a first date or job interview or at any other interaction-y situation:
- My name is Nisrine, ‘Niz’ for short. Although I do like the long version (because it makes me sound exotic and intriguing) most of the time I prefer when you call me ‘Niz’ because it makes me feel like you’ve known me for a long time and that we might possibly be friends.
- Sometimes, I don’t wax my arms and they get quite hairy and this makes me feel like a man. As for my head-hair, it is quite thin and from some angles, my head can look balding.
- I’m not very fit but am good at bikram yoga. Go figure.
- Generally-speaking, I’m a good speaker but when I’m nervous, and speaking to people who I perceive to be more educated then me, I tend to trip over my words and stutter. Other times, I tend to round my words and speak a little ‘ethnic’ which makes me feel uneducated and judged.
- I get intimidated by men.
- I like going to cultural events – like poetry readings and jazz concerts – but sometimes I end up getting bored or sleepy at them and think that maybe it’s just the thought of being cultural that appeals to me as opposed to the act of it.
- When I visit new suburbs or towns, I always work out the ratio of white people to people like me and if the number is higher on their end, I feel that they’re secretly wanting me to go back to where I came from.
- Sometimes, I forget to brush my teeth in the morning and I can leave my make-up on for two days. And I don’t feel guilty about it.
- When I walk past a group of laughing people, I automatically think they’re laughing at me which, unless I’m up on stage, I find very confronting and uncomfortable.
- I don’t know if I actually know how to be in a relationship. This scares the Notebook out of me.
It’s probably easier for you to know this now so that I don’t have to pretend when we meet. Pretending gets quite tiring, as do monthly arm waxes. But, I’m sure you know that; I’m sure you have some pretending of your own to contend with.